There’s one question I hear more than any other when helping clients prepare for career interviews:

“How can I talk about my accomplishments without sounding like I’m bragging?”

The beauty of this question is that there actually is a simple answer at its foundation. Here’s the secret:

                Stick with nouns and verbs; avoid adjectives and adverbs.

In the context of describing accomplishments, nouns and verbs describe concrete actions and results, e.g.:

• I designed and led the initiative that increased revenue by 130% in 12 months
• I ran a team of eight direct reports at the X level with 65 total employees under me
• When X emergency hit, my team and I worked round the clock to get everything back up and running in under 36 hours.
• I brought together leaders from four different departments and facilitated negotiations until we reached agreement on X.
• I’ve helped clients save over $5 million in expenses/taxes/lawsuits/other
• My clients’ average rate of return is X%, which is Y% above market average.

The key is that you can’t state that you think you’re an awesome/inspirational/expert leader; ascribing such evaluations to yourself most definitely does sound like you’re rather full of yourself, to say the least, and makes the listener doubt the validity of your claims at worst.

But if hearing you state those matter-of-fact results makes the listener think to herself, “Wow, that’s amazing! This person must be really organized/expert/inspirational as a leader,” then GREAT. As long as they derive that conclusion for themselves, they will believe it, and you’re not bragging!

Now, this gets more complicated in other contexts aside from interviews, when people are not likely to say, “Tell me about your accomplishments.”

And it gets even more complicated when you’re either a person who does not like to draw any attention to themselves, or were raised to believe that humility was not just a requirement, but an all-or-none concept, in which you were either being “humble” or “arrogant,” period.

Although well intended, this framework is limiting in its application.

For example, in the American workplace (and many other contexts), to some extent or other, it’s important to learn to advocate for yourself. Do you want to be considered for a promotion, to lead a project, or to have face-time with a new client? Heck, do you even want people to listen to your opinion? You need to step up and throw your proverbial hat in the ring.

But you also have to ask yourself: are there times when I don’t speak up, and justify my silence as virtuous humility, when in reality, I’m making excuses to avoid taking risks and being vulnerable?

In other words: At times, are you truly being humble, or just timid?

This powerful challenge was posed on the Speaking to Influence podcast by my guest this week, Aïcha Ly, Head of Consumer Insights at OpenSignal.

What’s the difference, you might ask?

Aïsha laid it out, plain and simple: when you act (or fail to act) out of timidity, people won’t know the value you can bring to the world.

WOW.

In our conversation, Aïcha shares her insights on:

• How to showcase your gifts while still being humble, and without sounding arrogant
• How to find the courage to be deliberate about what you want to say
• The importance of working with people who have different skills but similar values and standards
• How to empower others to solve their own problems (and how to resist the urge to solve their problems for them)

and more.

Listen to the full conversation here or watch it on YouTube here.

Aïcha won’t tell you how amazing of a guest she was – but you can take my word for it, and tune in. Trust me: you’ll draw the very same conclusion for yourself right from the start!

I was in a business development seminar a while ago, when the facilitator said three words that smacked me in the face:

“AVOIDANCE IS SELFISH.”

Now, I would not label myself as one who is typically conflict averse. But if I’m being honest with myself, there are definitely things I procrastinate, whether consciously or unconsciously, for example:

• Getting started on big projects that I want to do, but find intimidating or overwhelming in their scope
• Anything that requires learning some new technology
• Starting any writing from a blank page
• And yes, even the occasional conversation if there's enough potential for drama.

Sure, avoidance of anything can be counterproductive, even self-sabotaging, but selfish?

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized he was right.

If I want to build a new program because I believe it will allow me to train or coach even more people, but I delay creating it, I’m prioritizing my own comfort over my desire to serve others. That’s selfish.

If I delay learning some new technology that would help my business run more smoothly because “I’m too busy” (or I just dread the thought of having to learn it,) thereby potentially creating more legwork for my team, that’s selfish.

And if I put off having a feedback or accountability conversation with someone, I can tell myself it’s because “it’s not that important” or that I don’t want to upset them, but it just allows the problems to drag out. That’s selfish.

Now that’s not to say that I should just be tactless and blunt, under the guise of simply “telling the truth” or “calling it like I see it.” After all, the beauty and power of diplomacy is the ability to make a point without making an enemy, as Daniele Vare purportedly said.

But avoiding the issue overall prioritizes my own comfort over what I know is ultimately more important, and isn't in service of anyone other than myself. And that’s certainly not a hallmark of leadership.

Without using the judgmental labels like “selfish,” (no matter HOW apropos it might be,) in this week’s episode of Speaking to Influence, Dr. Bill Auxier, President and CEO of the Center for Rural Health Leadership, asks an equally powerful question:

“Is it more important to be comfortable, or to deliver the message?”

He actually asked himself that question as a way of overcoming his nerves when faced with a major public speaking opportunity. Regardless of the context, the question demands serious introspection.

Bill is also a renowned author, speaker, and teacher, and boy did he share some powerful stories that landed key lessons.

Want another one?

How’s this: What’s the ROI (return on investment) of always needing to be “right”?

Does your need to be right (and have the other person admit that they’re wrong) ever overshadow the bigger picture? When you win those battles, is the momentary catharsis of victory worth whatever fallout comes later?

Or how about this: Bill shares his definition of leadership and challenges us to come up with our own personal definition in one sentence or less. Talk about the need to cut the fluff and be crystal clear on what matters most!

Our conversation looked at these questions and more through the unique lens of the challenges in rural healthcare.

Listen to the full conversation here or watch it on Youtube here.

As the story goes, Colonel Harland Sanders was rejected 1009 times before someone believed in him and the secret recipe for Kentucky Fried Chicken, which began the now-global franchise.

That’s not a typo: one thousand and nine rejections.

Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen heard “No” 144 times by all the major publishing houses in New York before HCI, a little Florida-based self-help publishing company said yes to the original Chicken Soup for the Soul.

Even J.K. Rowling got rejection letters from twelve different publishers before Bloomsbury saw the genius potential of all things Harry Potter.

They all kind of remind me of that scene from the movie Pretty Woman when Julia Roberts walks back into the boutique in Beverly Hills where the sales women had refused to wait on her the day before. She shows them all her bags of purchases from other stores and says:

“You work on commission, don’t you?”

“Yes,” one woman replies.

“Big mistake. Big. HUGE. I have to go shopping now…” and she walks out the door.

They’re all such fabulous stories of perseverance and vindication when it seems like the universe is telling you to give up.

Even Dave Noll – co-creator of the mega-hit Food Network franchise CHOPPED and more than 60 other television shows, and my guest on this week’s episode of the Speaking to Influence podcast – knows what that’s like.

He actually crunched the numbers and realized that in his business it takes 960 pitches to create one mega-hit.

Again, that’s not a typo: Nine hundred and sixty pitches.

But here’s the mic-drop: As Dave so wisely put it, “You don't know which pitch will change your life.”

Knowing that that’s the path forward, and that it’s all part of the process, Dave stays motivated by celebrating each “No” he receives with the understanding that there are only 959 (958…957…) more pitches to go!

Now maybe you’re thinking to yourself, “Well, I’m not in television, or an entrepreneur, or in a sales job, so this isn’t relevant to me.

Au contraire.

Zig Ziglar, one of the original sales gurus of the last century, observed: “I have always said that everyone is in sales. Maybe you don’t hold the title of salesperson, but if the business you are in requires you to deal with people, you, my friend, are in sales.”

If you have ever tried to:

•   Float an idea to your team…
•  Throw your hat in the ring for a promotion…
• Argue for or against a particular course of action…
• Advocate on behalf of someone else…
• Intervene to de-escalate a conflict…

Or even (*ahem*) try to convince someone to listen to a particular podcast…

…you, my friend, are in sales.

Just ask cosmetics pioneer Estée Lauder, who asserted, “I have never worked a day in my life without selling. If I believe in something, I sell it, and I sell it hard.”

So ask yourself: What do YOU believe in, and do you do it justice when you try to “sell” the idea to someone?

From one unofficial “sales person” to another, one of the many (MANY!) major expert insights Dave offers regarding creating a compelling, successful pitch is the importance of focusing on that “one thing” that brings your whole idea together.

How, you ask?

Listen to the full conversation here or watch it on Youtube here.

Why?

Because the next pitch just might change your life.

PS: If you are looking for additional guidance on how to enhance your (or your client’s) reputation as a go-to thought leader and create even more of those life-changing opportunities, join me for my next LinkedIn Live: “Podcast Ready: Prepare Your Clients (or yourself) to be Awesome Interview Guests.”.

I’ve always been a huge musical theater fan. Show-stopping tunes like “One Day More” from Les Miserables, “The Gods Love Nubia” from Aida, “Defying Gravity” from Wicked, and more recently “My Shot” from Hamilton leave me on the edge of my seat.

But what makes these shows so powerful is not just their ability to have key songs cycle on perpetual loop through my head for weeks on end afterward. It’s the messages that they leave equally indelible on my brain.

Although I only managed to see the recorded version of Hamilton on Disney+, one line that has stuck with me was from Alexander Hamilton (who ostensibly made as many enemies as friends for being so vocal and opinionated) to Aaron Burr (whose motto was “talk less, smile more; don’t let them know what you’re against or what you’re for.”)

At one point, Hamilton challenges him: “If you stand for nothing, Burr, what will you fall for?”

While there was inevitably a ton of artistic license taken in the show overall, it doesn’t change the relevance of the fact that Hamilton’s life – at least professionally – was singularly focused, and intentional.

That’s also why I loved the theme of this week’s episode of the Speaking to Influence podcast , as Kevin Nolan, CEO of Nolan Painting, Inc., drives home the importance of being “abundantly clear about what you want in life, (and living) deliberately.”

Part of living and leading intentionally is reflected in their remarkable Nolan Painting Promise to their customers which has driven their success for over 25 years. It states outright that they will:

• Start and finish on time
• Maintain a neat, clean project
• Handle all the details,
• Stand behind the work, and
• Assure the highest quality.

Each of these action steps is a direct manifestation of that philosophy that every choice and action must be intentional. And each statement in that promise is something that his employees can articulate explicitly, and mean it.

It's about consciously shaping our lives, careers, and relationships through words and actions that allows us to leave a meaningful impact and create a legacy that lasts.

Even his 24-hour influence challenge is about how to get “abundantly clear” on what you want.

It’s making intentional choices, taking intentional steps, and speaking intentionally and decisively … and it all starts with writing a letter to yourself.

You can listen to the full conversation here or watch it on YouTube here.

Q: “Why does a dog wag its tail?”

A: “Because the dog is smarter than the tail. If the tail were smarter, the tail would wag the dog.”

The notion of “the tail wagging the dog” is an expression that has been around for 150 years, alluding to the idea of something small and seemingly inconsequential controlling a much larger, more important or powerful body.

Although the expression is more commonly used in reference to political distraction and subterfuge tactics, the fact is that in today’s digital world of “nothing is ever deleted or forgotten,” we all have to be almost obsessively careful about what we post or say in public.

A single off-hand remark or clumsily stated comment in the wrong context that gets posted online can require massive amounts of damage control to everything from personal reputations to elections to stock markets… and those are some seriously big dogs!

The office “grapevine” or “rumor mill” is a dangerous place for hearsay to turn into gossip and widespread panic. As leaders, the moment we get wind of such a storm brewing, it’s essential to face it head on.

As Mike Massaro, CEO of Flywire global payment network, said in this week's episode of Speaking to Influence, “If you don't set the narrative, the narrative is going to be set for you.”

The person who sets the narrative controls the wagging, and thus the outcome.

Mike shares an incredible story about a time when FlyWire was in discussions to acquire another company, and word leaked in that organization about the possibility of acquisition, creating panic among its employees.

Not wanting to trigger a mass exodus of employees or find himself with an angry mob of a workforce, Mike went against much conventional wisdom and most advice he received, got on a plane and flew out to address the entire organization in person.

Want to know what happened next? Listen to the full conversation here or watch the video on YouTube here.

Mike offers tons of stories and insights regarding:

• the importance of resourcefulness and a willingness to learn, especially in fast-paced industries
• the challenges of transitioning from a private to a public company in a volatile economy
• the significance of considering all aspects of a potential business transaction,
• How to treat employees with respect during a company acquisition,
• And of course, how to establish a leadership narrative.

Setting the right, consistent narrative does wonders for instilling faith in your organization.

And that’s true whether it’s a secular or faith-based institution alike. Which is exactly what I had the pleasure of discussing with Jim Friend this week on his podcast, “Advancing our Church.”

I’ve worked with many religious organizations, from speaking at national Jewish philanthropy conferences to running public speaking workshops for seminarians and beyond, and it’s beautiful to contribute to the goal shared by all: doing good in the world by teaching people to love one another.

Jim and I dive into:

• The value of storytelling, even in the form of parables
• The importance of using accessible language and knowing your audience
• How to motivate and mobilize a board
• Do’s and don’ts for inspirational lectoring
• And, per our theme today, strategies for crisis communication, in order to avoid letting the tail wag the dog

Regardless of your own personal faith traditions or beliefs, you’ll be surprised at how relevant, helpful, and even fun our conversation is! Tune in… and wag your tail.